There's always a lot emerging around here! But if people want some powerful support in creating the best year of their life and fulfilling the deep purpose for which they were born, they can check out the following FREE resources: 
​
A free mini eCourse and audio course on the revolutionary principle, The Law of Emergence: http://www.lawofemergence.com/ 

Grab a copy of my best-selling book, Emergence, and get a bunch of bonuses: http://www.myemergencebook.com/  

((I, Ellen Pierce, read this book and it's definitely a wonderful resource!))

Listen to dozens of free trainings on my EMERGENCE Podcast on Itunes 

Check out my site for free resources: www.DerekRydall.com 

And if you want a deeper dive for creating a truly extraordinary year, you can check out my program, Best Year Blueprint at www.BestYearBlueprint.com  

To Your Emergence!  

Derek 
​

Self expression is one of the pieces that is most often left out of anxiety relief programs.

Think about it. And you'll see. 

When I was in grad school to be a psychotherapist participation was a REQUIREMENT. I knew I had to raise my hand and speak up once in every class or my grades would be negatively effected. 

I set a goal for myself. I would speak in every class. Every time. 

This is a really typical technique for working with anxiety called exposure therapy. Sometime I would really be fine. Sometimes the room would grow and shrink, I would shake, sweat and even cry from the physical symptoms of fear. I look back on myself at that time so lovingly. 

My nervous system was so whacked out by my choice, but my will to thrive was SO STRONG. 

You don't have to go through this like I did. 

What I noticed was the following process:

1) I would have something to say or ask arise in my consciousness
2) I would feel my heart start to beat harder and sweat start to pool in my palms. I would start to be nauseous. 
3) I would sit on my impulse to share. 
4) I would get increasingly physically uncomfortable.
5) I would beat myself up for not sharing and for being anxious. 
6) I would raise my hand and say the thing. 
7) I would go over the thing in my head a million times after the fact trying to asses if I was okay. 

This insanity was HELL for me. It was absolutely awful. But, it was how I discovered that authentic and satisfying self expression is an enormous part of living an anxiety free life. 

I started my "Letters to an Ex-boyfriend" series after going through a bad breakup. All I wanted to do was get through to him so he could see and understand the pain I was going through. It was about as satisfying as hurling myself repeatedly into a brick wall. It didn't work. At all. 

It was then that I sat down and began to write.

What I wanted was to share myself. I wanted to be seen as me in all my mess and wisdom, I wanted to transmute my pain into connection, belonging and growth. And this is exactly what happened. 

It wasn't satisfying to share with him. It was incredibly satisfying to share with the world. I got more comments on my posts, more messages in my inbox, more communication about topics that were interesting and really mattered to me like self love, body shaming, anxiety soothing, and more. I got more phone calls, more opportunities to connect with people who could really see my wisdom that EVER before. 


It felt like a miracle. 

Weeks later an anxious but highly creative and successful friend went through a breakup and he asked me for advice knowing I had recently had my heart to the fire.

I shared with him my break through, about finding a  way to express himself that would ACTUALLY be SATISFYING for him. He tried it out and it WORKED!!!! 

For me it's not enough to just create my songs, or write. I want to share it. Then I want to talk about it with people. I want to share resources, and chew on ideas.

What would satisfying expression look like to you? Share below. Feel free to read through the "Letters to an Ex-boyfriend" series. It is a beautiful work of art full of gems on self love and actualization. It is a how to teaching on taking our most painful moments and transforming them into creative growth. 

Loving you, 

Ellen Pierce 

1) Find a replacement behavior for the habit. I drink fizzy waters instead of wine. There are lots of great calorie free drinks that make great replacement drinks. 

2) Focus on changing one part of the entire pattern. If you zoom out the pattern might be larger than you were originally seeing. For me it was the hangover shame. I decided that when I got hungover I would treat myself really sweetly, love myself, talk to myself. 

As a result of shifting my shame I now drink a lot less often, drink less when I do drink, and if I do over do it and get a hangover I take good care of myself so I am not feeding into the larger pattern of stress. 

Let me know how you are shifting your patterns to live a healthier life!

​

I am going to say something mind blowing to you in this post that will go against everything you currently believe about anxiety, but that will change it for good.

The nastiest part of anxiety is often that as much as we think we want to change, we are more committed to commiserating than growing.

Let's take an honest look at your behavior...

1. When people offer you solutions, do you try them or do you want to talk about symptoms?

2. Do you tend to think that something will fix, solve or change your anxiety? Do you think the next thing you learn will fix it? Are you always hoping person to person to try to find answers outside of yourself?

3. When someone asks you a question about your POTENTIAL do you respond with your perceived LIMITS? Do you explain WHY you can't change rather than contemplate how you can?

If this is you FREAK OUT NOW! Okay haha just kidding. No, don’t freak out. It’s okay. It’s just that your mind has practiced that route so many times it believes it’s the safest way home. And that’s not your fault. You never would have comciouslt created it if you could have helped it. And there are tools to get you off this track and onto a new one.

It is VERY common for you crave change but actually just want to stay the same. The limited mind actually thinks what you’re doing NOW is safer than any change you could imagine.

Our brains get habituated in certain ways.

Your mind thinks that by fixating on the "problem" - your anxiety - that it is solving the "problem."

It is NOT.

It thinks if it can just get rid of the anxiety that you will be restored to peace. This will not work. You cannot get rid of anxiety. It's not a problem to be fixed solved or eliminated.

Did I just blow your mind?

Yes, this goes against the medical model of prescribing meds to eliminate anxiety. Anxiety treatment is often best when we combine meds with treatment. Using meds to take the edge off can be helpful. But its not a long term solution if you don't change the underlying patterns.

The anxiety itself actually isn't a problem to be fixed.

Right now you are probably thinking

"WAIT WHAT!? You must be Fuck!ng kidding me! I can’t get rid of this thing?!”


Understanding this particular paradox has changed everything. This is where feel lasting relief comes
​from. .

The next time you feel anxious here is a little script for starting your new relationship. How would you start off any friendship? I have this conversation in my head or while seated in my meditation space.

1. Introduce yourself - "Oh hi anxiety, I haven't seen you for like ten seconds."

This joke belongs to Amy Hartman :D

2. Ask it if it wants or needs anything from you.

"What the hell do you want --- erm ... I mean --- what do you need right now?"

3. Ask it if it has anything for you. Keep asking until you get something actionable.

"Do you have anything for me?" Using the tool of your imagination, allow your anxiety to place the gift somewhere in your body, nourishing you. Or it could be words and information.

If your wise mind doesn't agree with what your anxiety is saying, like "We're not safe here." Speak to it like it's a little kid. Say, "I hear you that you feel unsafe. I think we are safe here. What could we do that would make you a little more comfortable?"

You might get a response like "wrap me up in a blanket" or "call a friend."

You are effectively learning how to nourish yourself.

You are learning how to RESPOND to rather than react to your anxiety.

I know it feels like the world is crashing down when you are anxious. It feels like you can't escape and you are going to die. I know. I have been there. Try on this practice, and trust me that it works.

When you start to give a part of yourself that you have been starving, trying to beat to death or get to go away, a little space in your life to offer you wisdom, everything changes and you will ge the relief you seek.

I will continue to share how to work with this part of you in future blog posts so come back soon!

Let me know in the comments how it's going!

Loving you,

Ellen Pierce

“I have horrible anxiety and panic attacks. I feel like I am going to die. I feel beat up and my whole body hurts."


I work with creative people. Often these people are out in the world stepping into situations that challenge them on a regular basis.

I typically help clients with five areas to help surrender fear and step into satisfaction.

1. Self awareness (mindfulness)
2. Self soothing
3. Self love (us anxious tend to beat the crap out of ourselves),
4. Self expression
5. habit/ routine.

Anxiety can be physically EXHAUSTING. We use up so much of our precious energy just managing the intensity of the anxious state.


If you are in a state of high anxiety RIGHT NOW here are some basics to smoothing things out:


1. What were some of the thoughts that were going through your head?

A lot of times we globalize doom and gloom. We think the worst and we also think we
are going to die. It is important to get checked out by a doctor, but if it IS anxiety, the
next step is to simply notice the thoughts. This cultivates a witness perspective that can
hold your anxiety so you can start to soothe it.




2. Feel your hands.


A lot of anxious people will go to “my palms are clammy” or “I lose sensations in my
fingers” or “I have pins and needles and MY ARMS ARE GOING TO FALL OFF!!!!”


I know it sounds funny but our anxious mind is scanning to see what is wrong.
Having pins and needles in my hands after being sick from food poisoning sent me to
google to find out if I had a paralytic version or botulism. This kind of self diagnosis isn't
really helpful and I would have been better served to simply feel my hands.


We aren't looking for something wrong here. Instead, we are just looking for physical
sensations. Clammy palms? Great. Zipping tingles around the finger tips? Great! Cool
sensations on the backs of the hands. Great.


If you can keep ten percent of your attention on your hands - just the physical
sensations, I have tested over and over again and found that you will begin to get your
creative energy back.


Physical sensation. Be as descriptive as possible. Keep it super simple.


3. Emphasis on the out breath.


Great! I didn’t learn many of these self soothing techniques ’til grad school! I personally
think that they should be taught in elementary but they just aren’t. So if you are a teacher
do your students a favor and give them these emotional intelligence builders!


So when you are anxious I would bet your chest feels very tight and the tendency is to
breath in and in AND IN!


Focus on your long breaths out.


Notice your state as you count breaths out. This is the type of stuff you will find in most
anxiety relief programs. Breath work. The breath is a powerful tool for transforming your
state.

Btw. If you’re feeling down and out, I suggest breathing out all your air, as much as possible and waiting for the in-breath to kick in. It will show you how your body values life. Please go talk to an awesome therapist though, if you’re feeling depressed.

4. Express.


One thing that is really unique about my perspective is that I believe that SO much about
anxiety is that we are NOT expressing. We block ourselves and the "energy" manifests
physically. Many people feel chocking sensations in their throat or a knot in their belly. The body is holding tensions it can’t process and it manifests as a certain chakra block when it’s really a systems issue.

If
you have been to your doctor and there are no physical reasons for your sensations, explore with me.

Notice, where are you tensing. You likely feel like you’re choking or that you are ill
because you are squeeing your stomach or throat unconsciously. Noticing what feelings
come up and see if you can identify them. No feeling can hurt you. Its just emotion.
Energy in motion. Ask it what is has to say to you. You don’t have to agree with what it
has to say. That part of you gets to have its own voice, and you as your wise self get to
hold it in your awareness.




Be willing to explore the sensations.


Feel them physically.


Feel them emotionally without reacting to them.


Hold them in the loving bowl of your awareness.


Then ask,


What is it that you have to tell me?
What is it that you need?
What do you have to say?


Speak these answers out loud or grab a journal or your computer and write them down.


This is when everything shifted for me. My angst in a breakup became some of my most
wise and intelligent writing. I have tested this time and again and it works! Find a way to
express that is SATISFYING for you. It has to be satisfying for you. For me it meant
writing from my wisdom perspective and sharing it with the world through facebook -
thereby getting support and engaging in conversations. For others it has meant writing a
letter and putting it in the mail or giving a particular person a call. Find what works for
you. If you can’t, I can help you figure out meaningful ways to self express.



For me, I needed to work with another person to do this work. My body simply did not
feel safe enough to work with on my own. This is because I was working with TRAUMA.


If you don’t feel safe in your body, or know that you have a history of trauma, please
reach out to me or another therapist and they can help guide you through this process. It is possible to feel safe
in your body. If you are willing to do the work, you will like reach Post Traumatic Growth,
which is the ability to launch further and faster BECAUSE you were traumatized. It is the
amazing gift that the worst of life’s experiences often allow us to thrive in ways others
simply can’t imagine.


If you are in a place where your body doesn’t feel safe, professional support can
help.

A lot of times when we feel anxious we feel like we are victim to the anxiety. We feel powerless and like we cannot stop the sensations. In a lot of ways we are correct. We have conditioned ourselves so strongly to respond in this way our neural pathways have to change in order for us to feel relief.

This is why mindfulness practices work so well. The stop the conditioned state and LITERALLY rewire the brain.

It is miraculous how malleable our brains are.

If I can do it. You can do it.

The thing is, a lot of people are more committed to their problems than the solutions. Which camp are you in?


Loving you, Elz