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Light in the Universe

Featuring the
​World’s Best Coaches

Song of The Week - Anxiety Tip - Music Soothes and Inspires

3/27/2017

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Valerie June's Man Done Wrong 

Discover awesome new music....

As part of my intention to be a ever better host for and channel of sound, I am starting a weekly post that features a song I LOVE at the moment.

I will start with my sweet Valerie June. At the end of this article you will find how this weekly post can be of benefit to you as you create the life you love and push the edges of your unknown. 

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I first heard the haunting asian-style chord progression of Man Done Wrong from bed as I was waking in the morning. Sleep shaking off of me, Valerie June's simple lyrics and stunning arrangements entered into me without resistance and shot straight into my heart. I fell in love HARD.

She is the kind of artist that I LOVE to find. Someone whose music is so moving that you listen on repeat for weeks while you sit back and watch as the songs allow more of you to emerge. Their art makes a process of self discovery so enjoyable. 

I had a moment driving down the canyon after spending some time in the mountains by the creek this week. Long Lonely Road was playing as I cruised around a corner. The sun hit just right through the bare trees. I felt the relief of opening and gratitude for life itself. She may never know how her music touches and enhances our lives, but those are the most precious kinds of benefit. Spirit. Alive. 

I feel so much permission in her voice. I know that in this world we often feel that we are not enough. I could easily see a Valerie June in some of my clients who might think that their unique sound is not "right or "good enough" because they haven't seen it in pop culture. Valerie June's voice is truly her own and I am grateful that she has embraced it and taken it out into the world as a reminder to all of us to ride the animal of our own beautiful, strange and simple sounds. 

Thank you Valerie June!

Check back next week to discover another amazing artist who I am moving and shaking to.

Here is how sharing others work can be of benefit to ourselves and each other - the lesson in the practice:

1. Generosity.

I feature artists who are stellar and share their gifts for their benefit, of mine and for yours. Send me your favorites, or YOUR OWN songs if you want to be featured. It just might happen. This is all about connection - giving and receiving. 

2. Soothing.

In my work as a therapist I noticed that the youth I worked with had one MAIN coping skill in common. It was MUSIC. Their music allowed them to access their feelings. Whether it was SCREAMO that allowed them to feel pissed, Moby that allowed them to feel numb or Rihanna that allowed them to feel sexy, it was the listening that provided access to their felt sense emotions. 

3. Celebration.

Look around and admire. Draw out the qualities you love to see in people. Celebrate the victories of other humans. I love to see genius expressing. Calling it out makes it more.  

4. Curiosity.

I wonder what I could learn 4 months, or a year from now, having shared, celebrated and praised someone else's work. I want to push myself to grow. How are you growing in your life right now? 


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Travel Will Change You

3/11/2017

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​Aaron Slosberg, Director of a Highly Esteemed Travel Program Has Answers for you....

-------------------------------------I went out and got the best of the best for you.

I spoke with experts, doctors, and spiritual teachers.

I asked these high achievers about their fears and how they move through them to live the life they love.

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Expand your horizons into the sunrises and starscapes of far off lands.

​

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Aaron has been working with youth in either challenging settings or internationally since 2004. This means he has 13 years of experience. He told me that at this time he has witnessed a dramatic increase in students with anxiety.

In fact, he estimates that
students with anxiety on Dragon's trips has increased from 1-2 out of 12 students up to 6-7 out of 12. 

That means OVER HALF the students now present with some sort of anxiety and it is one of the most common challenges they see in their programs. This is to say, you are not alone. 

When I asked, he attributed the rise in anxiety to social media and several other factors.

"There seems to be a self-consciousness that comes with curating an online presence," he said. 

"Youth is a time of figuring out who you are. Online, you can re - define your identity and get immediate feedback. This can create a hyper awareness of identity. Awareness of how they are putting 'the self' into the world is heightened because everything is documented." 

​This creates a paradox of fluidity and rigidity. Leaving both little room for exploration and a LOT of room at the same time. The result? Tension. 


He also noted the availability of information, having an overwhelming amount of options, normal parental pressures, and the TOTALLY UNIVERSAL desire to be loved and liked  as contributing factors. 
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Aaron, What are three concrete ways you help students learn to thrive in the face of anxiety?

((He gave me FOUR ways! Check out the wealth of information below))
​

Aaron said, the benefit of travel is that we end up asking,

           "When all my identity markers go away, who am I?"

It is an opportunity to learn and grow outside of the context of the normal self that often makes us feel in control and safe. 


This feeling can be, "scary but powerful..".

It's a chance to "embrace ambiguity and give up control - I think a lot of anxiety centers around control. You are very vulnerable when you travel." Thus your sense of being out of control is heightened. 

​Here are his tips:


​1. The power of vulnerability and embracing ambiguity...

"I talk a lot with students about mindset - I help them understand where they have control and where they dont have control," he said.  

Then they can start to make certain empowering choices, but they can also relax into where they do not have control. This limits options, which can help the mind and body relax. 


2. Boundaries - scheduled check in - with a set amount of time...

We had one student who was very anxious. She went through 12 journals on her trip!

Her thoughts were very intense for her. She had the capacity to write for three hours at a time on a thought loop that kept re-stimulating the anxiety she was experiencing.

((Just imagine if that energy were pointed in a creative direction rather than a loop - there is a LOT of power there))

"We needed to set up structured times for her to check in for her sanity and for ours." 

*You can do this for yourself with friends, family, or a coach if you choose to travel outside a program, or, request this if you choose to travel with a program.*

Structured check ins soothe the nervous system by helping you see that someone is there to support you in the future - where your anxiety lives - and that the anxious feeling is not actually an indication of an emergency.

Over time, you begin to trust this. In part, this is how coaching and therapy can work. First, you learn you are safe with a mentor, and then you are able to self-contain until the set time. 

Now this student LIVES in Indonesia with her BOYFRIEND!

I would say that strategy worked.

3. Breathing and mediation techniques...

"This is a preventative strategy that I use with ALL my students. This way, when the stressors arrive or panic attacks happen, I can help them recall a skill that they are already cultivating. Additionally, they don't feel singled out or like something is wrong with them. Meditation and breath work can benefit everyone."  

These morning sits ((ROUTINE!)) create a common framework for all the kids.

((Routine can go with you everywhere))

This also creates AWARENESS ((woot woot!)) of when they are caught in a thought pattern. 

They can begin to see where they do not have control over the outcome of a situation and are just ruminating. Once we are aware we can make a change. 

Aaron says this an an opportunity to explore self identify. He asks students how they get into their body and provides some options such as social connection (eye contact, talking etc), breathing practices, writing, physical activity and other tools to get out of the pattern. 

4. The capacity to think through self criticism...

Often people with anxiety are sensitive to subtle cues from people around them.

((This can come from trauma, but often people with anxiety ascribe negative facial or mood cues to themselves and become self aggressive)).

They think that the other person is thinking something bad about them. Many students with social anxiety assume that their host family doesnt like them.

((Oh hey! Self love is the antidote my loves)).

Aaron suggests the student walk themselves through the thought pattern and look for alternate reasons for the host family's response. This can be helpful to do with another human. 
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Ultimately, travel will change you.

It will open you to potentials far greater than your sense of self at this time.

However, you have to be willing to surrender that old self in exchange for something new, something unknown. The unknown is often where we find the sharpe edges of our fear. 

At the end of our discussion, I said "Wow, you have had so many success stories here." And he said, "There are failures too. Some kids go home."

It occurred to me then that going home is always an option and it doesn't necessarily mean failure, although it might feel like it in the moment...

Aaron's job is create a WORLD of compassion, connection and awareness.

When you step outside of your comfort zone into more awareness you are doing yourself and the world a great service. Your willingness to learn with eyes and heart open from other cultures will only serve to create humanity rooted in peace and compassion. 


Do you want to travel? You can. 

These types of programs can provide a HUGE amount of support while helping you to feel a little safer while pushing your edges to grow. Reach out to me too, if you want support. We can get you there. 

Thanks Aaron! 

www.wheretherebedragons.com 
.summer semester, and adult programs. 

Aaron Slosberg is Director of Programming for Where There be Dragons. ​

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Dragon's has adult, gap year, and youth travel programs that will expand your horizons and have you learning and growing in ways that will surprise and delight you. 

Aaron’s love of learning has brought him to over 25 countries around the globe as a student, teacher, and traveler. Aaron has spent over 600 days in the field as a Dragons Instructor in Guatemala, Bolivia, Peru, and Indonesia. His current passion is discovering ways to integrate positive psychology research into experiential education. He is a Wilderness First Responder, avid surfer, and believer in the power of travel to transform us into a more just, compassionate, and awake world.

B.A., Summa Cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa, Study of Religion and History; University of California–Los Angeles. M.A., History; University of California–Los Angeles.

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How to DealĀ 

3/4/2017

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Experts Panel with Melissa Michaels - How do I Deal with My Anxiety ?
​
I went out and got the best of the best for you.

I spoke with experts, doctors, and spiritual teachers. I asked these high achievers about their fears and how they move through them to live the life they love.


Check out this interview with a woman who I cannot say enough wonderful words about.

She has held me in community in my most vulnerable moments, created space for my voice and sees the magic of source pouring through me and all of her students.

Please savor her wisdom. It is true nourishment.




"Melissa, tell me a short story of time you felt nervous, anxious or were faced with the unknown and the feelings you experienced."

She says, 

All too often, these days, I find myself processing fear.

Whether it is trying to alchemize the onslaught of daily news, or setting sail to work with youth in a war torn country, or showing up to lead a dance event with an unfamiliar group of people… it is common for me to experience the rushing reality of fear moving through my body.

I have learned what that all too familiar buzzing and burning feeling inside me is saying.

Be present.

Stay awake.

Take note.


Sitting
 with the sensations,I first listen inside. Sometimes, allI can do is allow the intensity to inform me that I must make a change immediately, move away from a situation if I can.

Other times,
I simply ride it, recognizing that actually danger is not afoot.
By breathing into the intensity, the fear can naturally 
transform into excitement. 

I am able to see that what I  am afraid of is sometimes exactly what I w
ant the most. 



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What are 3 concrete specific ways that you soothe yourself so you can enjoy the experience you are creating?


1) Moment by moment, 

I am either dancing or contracting. I am either in flow or in flight, in fight, or in freeze.

In order to find my fluid being in the face of fear, often all I have to do is watch and track my body.

With that said, if I am out of my body or shut down in my body, I generally do not have the capacity to see my body. 
Often I must begin by working from the outside in.

Can 
I smell the spicy food cooking downstairs? What does my skin feel like when I gently touch my arms, my legs, my cheeks? I focus my gaze on something beautiful to me, landing me back into contact with something in the here and now. As I then begin to orient, I can track myself more clearly. Is my breath shallow? My shoulder curled in? My knees knocking, literally?

Moving from the outside in, I can then begin to find my ground in my sensations. Note what is happening inside my body at this very moment.

Can 
I feel anything? If so, where? What does it feel like? Sensations? Colors? Patterns of movement? Contracted and frozen? No sensation? Burning? Pulsing? Racing? Twitching? Itching? Throbbing? It is mild? Intense? What is the quality of my breath. Shallow? Fast? Upper torso only? 

Just being with this rich inner landscape is a way to begin to shift my focus from being overwhelmed by fear to simply just being here with whatever is really happening. 

2) Once connected with this ground of being, I let myself fully honor the fear, listen deeply to it’s reality.

What feels unsafe?
 What is scaring me? No judgement, just true open space to be freely and fully afraid. With curiosity and kindness, I hang out intimately with myself in this state. I befriend fear. It is my ally. What is it telling me? I offer myself enormous empathy, no matter what the nature of the fear. 

3) From there, I slow everything down and observe what is really going on outside myself. I orient towards safety, if possible, moving away from the danger, whether real or fabricated. 

I may a
sk for help if too much to see clearly. Above all, I pray. I resource through connecting with nature, dancing, writing, singing, and more prayer. 

This whole process can happen in a few seconds or over a long period of time. I continue to listen from within, noticing how my energy shifts as inner and outer resourcing happens. I continue to make choices in my outer moves that respect the fear without letting it compulsively create contraction in my life.

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How you can connect with  Melissa and her powerful work:  


Check out her blog on fear. 

Melissa Michaels, Ed.D., guides individuals and communities through major life transitions. As a “soul midwife” and mentor to emerging leaders around the world, she has created Surfing The Creative, a rite of passage process that links somatics, youth development, and peace-building. 

Her newly released book, 
Youth On Fire shares the story of this life-changing work as it has unfolded in diverse settings ranging from inner city schools to college campuses, and from refugee settlements to the United Nations. 

Melissa is also the founder of GoldenBridge, a nonprofit organization dedicated to our collective renewal through the liberation of the creative Spirit.

Join her moving 
community every Sunday in Boulder for Movement Mass.
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    Ellen Pierce 

    Compassion + Integrity  = Powerful Leadership - What's your vision for the world? 

    Experts Panel, Book of the Week, Self Expression, Self Love, Mindfulness, Self Soothing, and Habit Hacks. 

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