Discover awesome new music....

As part of my intention to be a ever better host for and channel of sound, I am starting a weekly post that features a song I LOVE at the moment.

I will start with my sweet Valerie June. At the end of this article you will find how this weekly post can be of benefit to you as you create the life you love and push the edges of your unknown. 

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I first heard the haunting asian-style chord progression of Man Done Wrong from bed as I was waking in the morning. Sleep shaking off of me, Valerie June's simple lyrics and stunning arrangements entered into me without resistance and shot straight into my heart. I fell in love HARD.

She is the kind of artist that I LOVE to find. Someone whose music is so moving that you listen on repeat for weeks while you sit back and watch as the songs allow more of you to emerge. Their art makes a process of self discovery so enjoyable. 

I had a moment driving down the canyon after spending some time in the mountains by the creek this week. Long Lonely Road was playing as I cruised around a corner. The sun hit just right through the bare trees. I felt the relief of opening and gratitude for life itself. She may never know how her music touches and enhances our lives, but those are the most precious kinds of benefit. Spirit. Alive. 

I feel so much permission in her voice. I know that in this world we often feel that we are not enough. I could easily see a Valerie June in some of my clients who might think that their unique sound is not "right or "good enough" because they haven't seen it in pop culture. Valerie June's voice is truly her own and I am grateful that she has embraced it and taken it out into the world as a reminder to all of us to ride the animal of our own beautiful, strange and simple sounds. 

Thank you Valerie June!

Check back next week to discover another amazing artist who I am moving and shaking to.

Here is how sharing others work can be of benefit to ourselves and each other - the lesson in the practice:

1. Generosity.

I feature artists who are stellar and share their gifts for their benefit, of mine and for yours. Send me your favorites, or YOUR OWN songs if you want to be featured. It just might happen. This is all about connection - giving and receiving. 

2. Soothing.

In my work as a therapist I noticed that the youth I worked with had one MAIN coping skill in common. It was MUSIC. Their music allowed them to access their feelings. Whether it was SCREAMO that allowed them to feel pissed, Moby that allowed them to feel numb or Rihanna that allowed them to feel sexy, it was the listening that provided access to their felt sense emotions. 

3. Celebration.

Look around and admire. Draw out the qualities you love to see in people. Celebrate the victories of other humans. I love to see genius expressing. Calling it out makes it more.  

4. Curiosity.

I wonder what I could learn 4 months, or a year from now, having shared, celebrated and praised someone else's work. I want to push myself to grow. How are you growing in your life right now? 

Aaron has been working with youth in either challenging settings or internationally since 2004. This means he has 13 years of experience. He told me that at this time he has witnessed a dramatic increase in students with anxiety.

In fact, he estimates that students with anxiety on Dragon's trips has increased from 1-2 out of 12 students up to 6-7 out of 12. 

That means OVER HALF the students now present with some sort of anxiety and it is one of the most common challenges they see in their programs. This is to say, you are not alone. 

When I asked, he attributed the rise in anxiety to social media and several other factors.

"There seems to be a self-consciousness that comes with curating an online presence," he said. 

"Youth is a time of figuring out who you are. Online, you can re - define your identity and get immediate feedback. This can create a hyper awareness of identity. Awareness of how they are putting 'the self' into the world is heightened because everything is documented." 

​This creates a paradox of fluidity and rigidity. Leaving both little room for exploration and a LOT of room at the same time. The result? Tension. 

He also noted the availability of information, having an overwhelming amount of options, normal parental pressures, and the TOTALLY UNIVERSAL desire to be loved and liked  as contributing factors. 

Aaron said, the benefit of travel is that we end up asking,

           "When all my identity markers go away, who am I?"

It is an opportunity to learn and grow outside of the context of the normal self that often makes us feel in control and safe. 

This feeling can be, "scary but powerful..".

It's a chance to "embrace ambiguity and give up control - I think a lot of anxiety centers around control. You are very vulnerable when you travel." Thus your sense of being out of control is heightened. 

​Here are his tips:

​1. The power of vulnerability and embracing ambiguity...

"I talk a lot with students about mindset - I help them understand where they have control and where they dont have control," he said.  

Then they can start to make certain empowering choices, but they can also relax into where they do not have control. This limits options, which can help the mind and body relax. 

2. Boundaries - scheduled check in - with a set amount of time...

We had one student who was very anxious. She went through 12 journals on her trip!

Her thoughts were very intense for her. She had the capacity to write for three hours at a time on a thought loop that kept re-stimulating the anxiety she was experiencing.

((Just imagine if that energy were pointed in a creative direction rather than a loop - there is a LOT of power there))

"We needed to set up structured times for her to check in for her sanity and for ours." 

*You can do this for yourself with friends, family, or a coach if you choose to travel outside a program, or, request this if you choose to travel with a program.*

Structured check ins soothe the nervous system by helping you see that someone is there to support you in the future - where your anxiety lives - and that the anxious feeling is not actually an indication of an emergency.

Over time, you begin to trust this. In part, this is how coaching and therapy can work. First, you learn you are safe with a mentor, and then you are able to self-contain until the set time. 

Now this student LIVES in Indonesia with her BOYFRIEND!

I would say that strategy worked.

3. Breathing and mediation techniques...

"This is a preventative strategy that I use with ALL my students. This way, when the stressors arrive or panic attacks happen, I can help them recall a skill that they are already cultivating. Additionally, they don't feel singled out or like something is wrong with them. Meditation and breath work can benefit everyone."  

These morning sits ((ROUTINE!)) create a common framework for all the kids.

((Routine can go with you everywhere))

This also creates AWARENESS ((woot woot!)) of when they are caught in a thought pattern. 

They can begin to see where they do not have control over the outcome of a situation and are just ruminating. Once we are aware we can make a change. 

Aaron says this an an opportunity to explore self identify. He asks students how they get into their body and provides some options such as social connection (eye contact, talking etc), breathing practices, writing, physical activity and other tools to get out of the pattern. 

4. The capacity to think through self criticism...

Often people with anxiety are sensitive to subtle cues from people around them.

((This can come from trauma, but often people with anxiety ascribe negative facial or mood cues to themselves and become self aggressive)).

They think that the other person is thinking something bad about them. Many students with social anxiety assume that their host family doesnt like them.

((Oh hey! Self love is the antidote my loves)).

Aaron suggests the student walk themselves through the thought pattern and look for alternate reasons for the host family's response. This can be helpful to do with another human. 

Dragon's has adult, gap year, and youth travel programs that will expand your horizons and have you learning and growing in ways that will surprise and delight you. 

Aaron’s love of learning has brought him to over 25 countries around the globe as a student, teacher, and traveler. Aaron has spent over 600 days in the field as a Dragons Instructor in Guatemala, Bolivia, Peru, and Indonesia. His current passion is discovering ways to integrate positive psychology research into experiential education. He is a Wilderness First Responder, avid surfer, and believer in the power of travel to transform us into a more just, compassionate, and awake world.

B.A., Summa Cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa, Study of Religion and History; University of California–Los Angeles. M.A., History; University of California–Los Angeles.