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Light in the Universe

Featuring the
​World’s Best Coaches

 Have you ever felt like you were having a heart attack?

4/22/2017

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Expert's Panel with Joe Minock - Startup Developer and Coach at Athlete Progress - How to Ride The Entrepreneurial Rollercoaster without Losing Your Pants​

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I went out and got the best of the best for you. 

I spoke with experts, doctors, and spiritual teachers.

I asked these high achievers about their fears and how they move through them to live the life they love. 

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​In March of 2015 I woke up and thought I was having a heart attack.

It wasnt the first time I had been anxious, but it was definitely the worst.

My heart felt like it was blasting through my chest. I couldn't breathe, and couldn't get my breathing under control. Couldn't get my heart rate under control.

When I was finally able to settle down I vented to my girlfriend about everything that was going on. She was a saint. She helped me through the roughest time in my life....


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"I was basically allowing myself to be abused. Carrying a massive workload and seeing no reward for it..." 

'I had built our company, sold to all of our clients, built the product....

But I felt the team wasn't focused. I didn't think they were going after the right type of clients. They were doing their job, but not in a way that as focused and I couldn't seem to get it under control.

We knew a certain kind of client would be best, and I was basically allowing myself to be abused. Carrying a massive workload and seeing no reward for it. 

I always have had a please everyone' type of attitude.

go go go. do do do.

Always say yes.

I had not set any boundaries or set any limits to what I was going to do. So in doing that I lost all control over my life and. business

I set myself up for failure. 

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What are 3 ways you help yourself back to calm? 

1. Say no.


"How do you discern what to say no to?" I asked.

This comes from a blog post or Tim Ferris podcast with Derek Sivers ((One of my personal heros - Derek are you single?!)).

I ask myself, can I say "Fuck yea" to what ever I am entering in to and and totally get behind it?

If not, I have to say no.


Is it something that I am going to love?

Or something that just seems like a ton of work with no reward?

If I need to say no, I try to find an eloquent way of doing it.

If i cant find an eloquent way, I just say no!

For instance right now, normally when someone asks me to do something in coffee shop like you are doing,  I say no! ((See, I AM special!))


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2. As humans we are great at knowing WHAT we want to do, but not HOW to do it. 


If I cant define HOW I am going to do something I don't give it any of my time or focus until I can define how to approach it. 

​When I do this, I don't get stressed out over things I cant control.

Yet, if something is in a nebulous state I can't influence it - You can only control and plan for what you know. 

This allows me to keep ideas in idea phase until I can exercise actual influence. 

((The unknown is one of the scariest edges for us all. We will always face unknown, and the more we can let go, the more creative that space can be. If you can sit in the unknown without filling the space, you can allow yourself to be supported by your faith and the mighty universe)).

3. Have a plan - write sh!t down  

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I have a heat sensitive note pad that you can erase with heat and water in the microwave! It's called a Rocket book. I use it to create form from the fog. 

Start with what you know. I use a system that comes from Jason Freed and
David Heinemeier Hansson (the creators of base camp).

It's a simple system that uses orders of understanding. You match the size of your writing utensil to how much you know. 

The more you know, the smaller the utensil you can use and really fill in the details. Start with the broad strokes. I like to use a marker board and go from there. 

It was a total a-ha for me because I am detail oriented to a fault and I need to see the big picture AND the details. This way I can start to organize my ideas in order of magnitude and add in the details under the larger headings. 

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Joe Minock is Startup Developer and Coach at Athlete Progress. He is a man of many talents including furniture building. Twitter is the best way to reach Joe. Or, email him at joe.minok@gmail.com ​- you know he'll only get back to you if it's a FUCK YES so take the risk and reach out if he inspires you~ even if it is just to say THANK-YOU.

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Travel Will Change You

3/11/2017

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​Aaron Slosberg, Director of a Highly Esteemed Travel Program Has Answers for you....

-------------------------------------I went out and got the best of the best for you.

I spoke with experts, doctors, and spiritual teachers.

I asked these high achievers about their fears and how they move through them to live the life they love.

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Expand your horizons into the sunrises and starscapes of far off lands.

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Aaron has been working with youth in either challenging settings or internationally since 2004. This means he has 13 years of experience. He told me that at this time he has witnessed a dramatic increase in students with anxiety.

In fact, he estimates that
students with anxiety on Dragon's trips has increased from 1-2 out of 12 students up to 6-7 out of 12. 

That means OVER HALF the students now present with some sort of anxiety and it is one of the most common challenges they see in their programs. This is to say, you are not alone. 

When I asked, he attributed the rise in anxiety to social media and several other factors.

"There seems to be a self-consciousness that comes with curating an online presence," he said. 

"Youth is a time of figuring out who you are. Online, you can re - define your identity and get immediate feedback. This can create a hyper awareness of identity. Awareness of how they are putting 'the self' into the world is heightened because everything is documented." 

​This creates a paradox of fluidity and rigidity. Leaving both little room for exploration and a LOT of room at the same time. The result? Tension. 


He also noted the availability of information, having an overwhelming amount of options, normal parental pressures, and the TOTALLY UNIVERSAL desire to be loved and liked  as contributing factors. 
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Aaron, What are three concrete ways you help students learn to thrive in the face of anxiety?

((He gave me FOUR ways! Check out the wealth of information below))
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Aaron said, the benefit of travel is that we end up asking,

           "When all my identity markers go away, who am I?"

It is an opportunity to learn and grow outside of the context of the normal self that often makes us feel in control and safe. 


This feeling can be, "scary but powerful..".

It's a chance to "embrace ambiguity and give up control - I think a lot of anxiety centers around control. You are very vulnerable when you travel." Thus your sense of being out of control is heightened. 

​Here are his tips:


​1. The power of vulnerability and embracing ambiguity...

"I talk a lot with students about mindset - I help them understand where they have control and where they dont have control," he said.  

Then they can start to make certain empowering choices, but they can also relax into where they do not have control. This limits options, which can help the mind and body relax. 


2. Boundaries - scheduled check in - with a set amount of time...

We had one student who was very anxious. She went through 12 journals on her trip!

Her thoughts were very intense for her. She had the capacity to write for three hours at a time on a thought loop that kept re-stimulating the anxiety she was experiencing.

((Just imagine if that energy were pointed in a creative direction rather than a loop - there is a LOT of power there))

"We needed to set up structured times for her to check in for her sanity and for ours." 

*You can do this for yourself with friends, family, or a coach if you choose to travel outside a program, or, request this if you choose to travel with a program.*

Structured check ins soothe the nervous system by helping you see that someone is there to support you in the future - where your anxiety lives - and that the anxious feeling is not actually an indication of an emergency.

Over time, you begin to trust this. In part, this is how coaching and therapy can work. First, you learn you are safe with a mentor, and then you are able to self-contain until the set time. 

Now this student LIVES in Indonesia with her BOYFRIEND!

I would say that strategy worked.

3. Breathing and mediation techniques...

"This is a preventative strategy that I use with ALL my students. This way, when the stressors arrive or panic attacks happen, I can help them recall a skill that they are already cultivating. Additionally, they don't feel singled out or like something is wrong with them. Meditation and breath work can benefit everyone."  

These morning sits ((ROUTINE!)) create a common framework for all the kids.

((Routine can go with you everywhere))

This also creates AWARENESS ((woot woot!)) of when they are caught in a thought pattern. 

They can begin to see where they do not have control over the outcome of a situation and are just ruminating. Once we are aware we can make a change. 

Aaron says this an an opportunity to explore self identify. He asks students how they get into their body and provides some options such as social connection (eye contact, talking etc), breathing practices, writing, physical activity and other tools to get out of the pattern. 

4. The capacity to think through self criticism...

Often people with anxiety are sensitive to subtle cues from people around them.

((This can come from trauma, but often people with anxiety ascribe negative facial or mood cues to themselves and become self aggressive)).

They think that the other person is thinking something bad about them. Many students with social anxiety assume that their host family doesnt like them.

((Oh hey! Self love is the antidote my loves)).

Aaron suggests the student walk themselves through the thought pattern and look for alternate reasons for the host family's response. This can be helpful to do with another human. 
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Ultimately, travel will change you.

It will open you to potentials far greater than your sense of self at this time.

However, you have to be willing to surrender that old self in exchange for something new, something unknown. The unknown is often where we find the sharpe edges of our fear. 

At the end of our discussion, I said "Wow, you have had so many success stories here." And he said, "There are failures too. Some kids go home."

It occurred to me then that going home is always an option and it doesn't necessarily mean failure, although it might feel like it in the moment...

Aaron's job is create a WORLD of compassion, connection and awareness.

When you step outside of your comfort zone into more awareness you are doing yourself and the world a great service. Your willingness to learn with eyes and heart open from other cultures will only serve to create humanity rooted in peace and compassion. 


Do you want to travel? You can. 

These types of programs can provide a HUGE amount of support while helping you to feel a little safer while pushing your edges to grow. Reach out to me too, if you want support. We can get you there. 

Thanks Aaron! 

www.wheretherebedragons.com 
.summer semester, and adult programs. 

Aaron Slosberg is Director of Programming for Where There be Dragons. ​

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Dragon's has adult, gap year, and youth travel programs that will expand your horizons and have you learning and growing in ways that will surprise and delight you. 

Aaron’s love of learning has brought him to over 25 countries around the globe as a student, teacher, and traveler. Aaron has spent over 600 days in the field as a Dragons Instructor in Guatemala, Bolivia, Peru, and Indonesia. His current passion is discovering ways to integrate positive psychology research into experiential education. He is a Wilderness First Responder, avid surfer, and believer in the power of travel to transform us into a more just, compassionate, and awake world.

B.A., Summa Cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa, Study of Religion and History; University of California–Los Angeles. M.A., History; University of California–Los Angeles.

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    Ellen Pierce 

    Compassion + Integrity  = Powerful Leadership - What's your vision for the world? 

    Experts Panel, Book of the Week, Self Expression, Self Love, Mindfulness, Self Soothing, and Habit Hacks. 

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